okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
