The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
