i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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