He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
