Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
