When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
