I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
