the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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