Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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