New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
