I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
