I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
