Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
