doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
