I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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