How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
