he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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