Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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