I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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