I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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