so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
