"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
