My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
