Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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