Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
