Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
