i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
