WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
