Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
