I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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