He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
