Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
