Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
