Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
