Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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