So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
