i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
