Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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