I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
