If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
