LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
