Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
