If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
