ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
