the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
