I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
