I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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