I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
