No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
