Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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