just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
