i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
