The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
